there will be a day that everything ought to be memorize. a day that people realize when they are in their deathbed... but in my case (SHOOT THAT PERSON ABOVE), why do i have to experience it now, last week, and for the nth times. he must be joking, right? because it is no longer funny. so please... i'm letting you go. yup, you, the one who keeps looking down to everyone, especially at me. please, give your attention to those who really needs it, like ADHD kids, wanna be ADHD kids and the likee, i.e.: sore drama queen and king shit and those who are emotionally challenged "cool" peeps... or the so called emo-sssss.

(to clarify, no offense meant. just trying to make a point here. what i'm trying to say is, hey, i also have my own issues okay)





am i funny?




damn, i really don't know what i'm saying here. maybe because trying to make a point is really difficult, especially when things are really unfair. this is not about the joke that i want to enforce because i'm not joking, this is serious, this is something... arghhh. it's like the universe conspired against me. maybe i'm just being fatalistic, hope not the type of people i mention above. but thinking about what happen to me for the past years, one can conclude that i won a mega lotto for bad luck.

the truth is, i'm not really blaming anyone. i think i'm part of the blame. but when this series of good un-fortune happens, i can't help it but to raise my eyebrows and wonder if is this the reality of so called life, cause if it is, fine by me. as they have said, safer by the number. but it killed me when i found out why i am the only one, or at least to all the people i personally know, or the be more specific, the only one of the class, or to be really more specific, my self?


WHAT THE!?


arghhh! okay, i'm going to stop because i think i'm becoming the persons i mention above. but hope not the kings and queens, because i'm not a narcissistic stupid snob.

(again, no offense meant, just trying to release some stress)

the greatest regret is to realize that everything is too late.



OF COURSE!

the thing about when i'm not inlove or any feelings enough to make me move in a certain why, be it even anger as long as not the state of nothingness, is that, writing makes a thousand times harder even how hard i try, even i have this genuine idea that i would really like to express.

yes, i am in the state of nothingness. nothing, non-existent, blank, void, oblivion, and those synonymous words. argh!

i really want to write again. i really do.